yeowch

Jenolan Caves

Today was alright. I know I'm being slack with descriptions but my source of creative words have being exhausted from tiredness-overload. I'm also not in the mood to be reflective as my hair's still wet from shower and i stuffed up a day's worth of film by forgetting how to rewind it in an SLR cam *grrr* I still love photography tho, and I have 2 more rolls left to burn so I don't mind terribly.

Well I went to Jenolan today with Barbara and Peter. I think i had sky high expectations -as always- and there were too many ppl going (about 30) whom i didn't know. Half the day was literally taken up with driving, so naturally I lost the use of both legs on more than one occasion which grizzled me slightly. I felt happy to get into wild natural terrain, and also to see my crush. But I'm a lot more realistic in terms of how I see him now. I think it has something to do with the fact that I can't really be myself in front of him-(i clamp up and thus, become as interesting as mouldy cheese)-and that when i try to engage in any form of communication, he's totally expressionless in his responses. No more details, just that from now on I'm not going to turn geriatric over it and just be myself..it's quite a burden trying to please everyone and not explode simultaneously.

So anyway, we explored the Lucas Cave which is the biggest there apparently. It was ok but no fireworks. Still it was an enjoyable day out with one of my families. May went fishing in Wollongong and I found myself daydreaming about being with them at one stage. *Sigh* Suddenly I feel so old :[ I can't WAIT til HP6 comes out and the film too^^ I'm also feeling a lot more in control of my life now. I'm planning on becoming a casual and fixing it so I can only work Sundays. This will come after my China trip..but yeah it'll happen for sure. My priorities are in fine focus. The only obstacle is, the arrival of another job. I went for an interview last wk and feedback was telling me I got the position. I won't mind but it will stuff up that one day a weekend thing for which I have a specific reason. Oh well.. casual suits my lifestyle much better.. i can see why it's almost a work fad.

Well that's all i feel like noting for now. This week i have no pracs -YES!!! For some bizarre reason today feels like the end of a relaxing holiday. I guess that's what comes of retreating into what feels like a different planet, complete with its own smells, sounds, sights and imaginative provocations. Happy Anzac Day.

posted by "/umin @ 3:22 PM