Jenolan Caves
Today was alright. I know I'm being slack with descriptions but my source of creative words have being exhausted from tiredness-overload. I'm also not in the mood to be reflective as my hair's still wet from shower and i stuffed up a day's worth of film by forgetting how to rewind it in an SLR cam *grrr* I still love photography tho, and I have 2 more rolls left to burn so I don't mind terribly.
Well I went to Jenolan today with Barbara and Peter. I think i had sky high expectations -as always- and there were too many ppl going (about 30) whom i didn't know. Half the day was literally taken up with driving, so naturally I lost the use of both legs on more than one occasion which grizzled me slightly. I felt happy to get into wild natural terrain, and also to see my crush. But I'm a lot more realistic in terms of how I see him now. I think it has something to do with the fact that I can't really be myself in front of him-(i clamp up and thus, become as interesting as mouldy cheese)-and that when i try to engage in any form of communication, he's totally expressionless in his responses. No more details, just that from now on I'm not going to turn geriatric over it and just be myself..it's quite a burden trying to please everyone and not explode simultaneously.
So anyway, we explored the Lucas Cave which is the biggest there apparently. It was ok but no fireworks. Still it was an enjoyable day out with one of my families. May went fishing in Wollongong and I found myself daydreaming about being with them at one stage. *Sigh* Suddenly I feel so old :[ I can't WAIT til HP6 comes out and the film too^^ I'm also feeling a lot more in control of my life now. I'm planning on becoming a casual and fixing it so I can only work Sundays. This will come after my China trip..but yeah it'll happen for sure. My priorities are in fine focus. The only obstacle is, the arrival of another job. I went for an interview last wk and feedback was telling me I got the position. I won't mind but it will stuff up that one day a weekend thing for which I have a specific reason. Oh well.. casual suits my lifestyle much better.. i can see why it's almost a work fad.
Well that's all i feel like noting for now. This week i have no pracs -YES!!! For some bizarre reason today feels like the end of a relaxing holiday. I guess that's what comes of retreating into what feels like a different planet, complete with its own smells, sounds, sights and imaginative provocations. Happy Anzac Day.
Bugger this
I have 5 million things to do all of a sudden. it's not like i've never been busy, but now everything seems to be happening about 10 times their usual speed. I finally got my passport *woot!* and now I just have to fill out leave forms -which is a total pain as i have
three different occasions for wanting leave yet i can't hold down any dates! grrr.. Uni is picking up and starting to snowball.. we have NO breaks til end of semester.. chem is giving me a headache.. I had another free lecture for anth >: ..the weather's nuts.. noone is enthuisiastic about anything and uni food is so @%#$%^ expensive!!!
There goes my complaint trail.. ahh feel so much better. Now i'll drizzle about the events to look forward to.. touring janolan or is it jarolan caves on anzac day :D.. church conference the w/e before Queen's b'day..China during July.. seeing mands next friday.. seeing grams this weekend.. eating yummy wonton soup *oh how i crave it** ..end post.
Now i'll sum up the stuff that left me with a warm fuzzy feeling from this long week.. a cute guy opening the door for me *noone does this anymore:(*.. coming first in my scan rate performance and scoring a bar of chocolate:D.. scoring 9/10 for my 1st chem quiz -despite heaps of ppl scoring that and half the questions ripped off a past paper but hey, a score's a score right & it's worth 5% + 2 more =15% :O.. catching up with friends on msn last night (how i love em').. having no prac for bio this wk:P.. seeing my savings pile up.. knowing my surprise left May happy on her birthday.. tidying my notes up for chem [so the info actually has order to it, even if it doesn't make sense-.-] ..and forming a real bond with some ppl at uni like Sab :D cool ^^
random muses
If life stopped moving for one second, we'd notice and stop to think. But it doesn't stop, so neither do we and thus.. we run forever, never stopping, never thinking. I'm in a musing frame of mind right now. It doesn't come often.. but heck i'm not about to psycho-analyse the whys, hows & etceteras -i chose
not to do psychology for a reason:D
Life is really very good. And it's about to get better. But like my stats lecturer said once (meaning yesterday): When you're at the top, where else have you got to go (after a while) but down again? He was talking about exam results & such, but it's by no means restricted to that. It's really awful to think that some ppl will spend the majority of their existence in a pool of cool-lukewarm emotions, subject to attacks of depression and fits of pride.
I would love to go back in time to interview the best of the best. Notice how they're all dead. The brainiest.. most inspiring.. most courageous.. the self sacrificers.. well ok, there are a few of them hanging around but wherever they are they've mastered hide 'n' seek well.
On a more down-to-earth note, uni is grinding along. I've made a couple of friends whom i can be my dork self around, who have the potential to become very close like waz or mands or jan. I've switched off from the socializing hub that's still raging as i type. I had many naive pre-conceived notions of uni life that I'm mighty reluctant to let go of. I dreamt of a faster, more exciting, freer version of high school. But it isn't that. It's really difficult to describe. All i know is, I miss high school -when I get a break for nostalgia that is- plus the communal feeling that went with it.
On the love front nothing is happening. It's pretty tragic. Oh well, I'll live:) It's certainly proof of how western I've become as i discussed this with grams not too long ago and she said that typically, the Chinese feel none of this fluff til after uni grad and the attainment of a stable income:D It's tricky, trying to debate whether you should continuing trying for a person. As a girl once said in New Internationalist(mag) "It's easy to fall in love, but very difficult to endure it". Ok that's it. Time to engage in more pressing matters ie. a cup of milo followed by a steaming shower.. yes i'll go do that:)
Too good to be unreal
I can't believe it's already the middle of autumn, the best season has become somewhat of a cross summer/winter hybrid. It's dreadful :O butt freezin' mornings and sweaty arvos; trying to coordinate my outfits is like playing a guess-the-weather game.. i don't like guessing games>:
I have an anth assignment due monday :[ !! and a stat one due friday!! and I have work over both weekend days!!! isn't life charming sometimes? Well at least I have someone to dream about ^^, and an event to look forward to -I'm goin to China in July!!! So it'll really be like Christmas in July for me..I won't be able to stop singin round that time *sings*.. soo awesome.
It's being 7 yrs since i stepped foot on my mother soil -perfect number- and perfect timing too.. tickets get astronomical around christmas and i'll enter china during the summer season which would be a much welcomed refresher :D of course there are exams and all that to get outta the way before :( not to mention compiling a to-get list of pressies and personal preferences. My pressies list will trail the floor >_> ..I'm thinking of getting new glasses, a sewing machine, a camera, the essentials. I can't wait to taste china icecream again!! & they're cheap as peanuts. When i get bak i'm gonna think everything's a ripoff here-which it is. Apparently everything's changed there.. . i hope the trip goes at all!! I'd hate to be struck with avian bird flu or tsunami-fied along the way which won't be good.
But for now i think i'd better get back to anth o.O have to do an essay on Nile ppl ..should be fun at any rate, and stat doesn't look too horrifying. Ok one thing at a time :)
