from scratch .. *grrr*
oh how i HATE it when an entire post gets scrapped *shakes fist* stoopid internet.. ur not allowed to have a life of your own!!!
anyway.. just had a wonderful remedial massage.. pity twas only an hour. If it wasn't for the absurd distance I'd have it every week but once a month is probably kinder on my wallet. It's been a great way to kick off our 'mid' semester break. Lately I've been tossing up career options and landed unhelpfully btw teaching, community development and naturopathy. The last one is waving its red flag most vigorously of all and with it, the $33,000 4-yr course fee. If that in itself isn't a strong enough repellant, i guess the 21+ mature age entry requirement should seal the deal. Yet i've become increasingly interested towards natural medicine of late.. hmm. Let's see what God has in mind for me though.
That newsflash aside, I'm about to spring into fellowship-hood at my church *yay*..it's been a while but now's the right time. I'm also planning to quit my job tomorow due to a number of reasons with transport issues being the ones doing my head in the most. It's just not worth travelling an hour or more for 4 hours of work per week . That's not to say it wasn't good. It had it's moments and I am grateful for been given the opportunity to enter the workforce early on and discover what NOT i should be sacrificing my labour to:) As such, praying that my next job will be more aligned with personal ethics, with just as nice honest-working people.
... Oooh I'll be cooking very soon; say as soon as I stop posting. Tonight will be one of those rare nights where I harness my laughable culinary finesse and remind people why cooking for one -myself- is clearly the wisest option around. It's an asian vegetarian dish and i hope to do my ancestors proud :) bit of an oxymoron really, seeing typical asian meals contain meat *heh, the effects of globalisation* .. hopefully dessert will be cooked granny smiths with cinnamon sauce *bliss*.. take it from me: simple is -9 times out of 10- truly synonymic with happiness:D
A long walk ahead..
I had a pretty stressful day today. But it was also a highly significant one so I'm jotting it down while it's still fresh. First things first -work began @ 9.30 :( which lasted 4 hours but made me feel bad as it always does coz I'm simultaneously missing fellowship -I HATE missing fellowship. Sundays are s'ppose to be a special set aside day for God, and to not be a part of it makes me feel as low as bacteria. So I'm changing workshifts immediately to accomodate my chosen commitments.
Secondly, I met the brady bunch a.k.a mum+brothers+half sisters. On the one hand, it was great seeing them after months of no contact. But the degree to which my bros (who mean at least half the world to me) have changed shocked me. No that word would be an understatement. It bowled me over. To the point where silent tears escaped and choked my voice whilst i was singing hymns in church tonight. At last I just uttered a silent prayer to God to accept my song in silent voice over. I was quite overcome with feeling. Stan has become so cold & shallow I could barely recognise him. I always thought we had a special bond *i think it's still there but very faint* and if favouritism ever became an option, he would be it *reluctantly admits*. Loving him and Andy truly is, as natural to me as breathing, but now Stan doesn't care about anything other than gameboys. I can't understand him at all and it's left me winded. Andrew is now easier to reach. I feel so much for him because he seems very unfamiliar with the notion of pure happiness -which in turn makes me feel guilty coz I'm surrounded by it everyday. But I know he's happy just to be with me and lets me hug him freely without question.. **i can't stress the importance of hugs. A law should be passed to make them compulsory. They should replace vaccinations nationwide**
To those who don't know my history in full (which is nearly everyone), all this would invite questions without an accompanying context. But this blog was created as a current record in time, not an autobiography. So accept it how it is. Please:)
well moving on.. at the moment i have music playing in the background. Which soothes me muchly:) I also came back from reading another chapter of the bible with Barbara and church. It was really uplifiting, not just because of that special connection I feel with God when reading his Word but also having that quote become real for me "if God can bring you to it, He will bring you through it".. the 'bringing through' bit has already begun. At church, i connected with a couple of people on a special level that only comes from stepping outside one's comfort zone. And Barbara's 2 yo grandson really cheered me up by being his adorable, inquisitive self:) I think he could tell i was upset *that mysterious wisdom of children* and ignored my snapping at him *blush* but instead, kept grabbing at my attention, smiling and holding my hand before leaving, as if to say in that precious way reserved only for children "there there, you'll feel better soon. I still love you".. it's these kind of special moments i want to preserve and keep alive.. to be my orbs of light when things seem a bit muddy and hopeless.. at least my priorities are now clear.
There's a long walk ahead of me; the road's littered with unforeseen responsibilities and inevitable heartaches, but at the same time also, lighted by the enduring beacons of love from my extended family, guidance from God and everything in between..
.: Curry baby :.
Oh my~> I've. just. had. curry. T_T ..My cheeks are still flushing happily from the attack whilst my lips have gone a deep red and my eyes glisten from the over-excited neurone activity.. as vampirish as the picture seems, the result looks almost photo-worthy. Thus, my beauty tip of the day follows: For a //natural blush/ sparkly eyes/ lip stain// in one- eat curry:) and oomph up the spice factor. Mild is for sooks:P
*reminds me of the good old days living with jan*
Chinese fellowship =D
Although I didn't realise it at the time, i had a ripper of a night last night:D I went to a local youth fellowship comprised entirely of Asians -a first for me- and had a corkin' good time singing, discussing and praying about God in chinese.. I have simultaneously, never felt as big a loser yet as comfortable about it as i did last night. My chinese was probably as painful to listen to as it was for me to verbalise:P but the spirit of unity kept discomfort at bay. It's important for me to record this event because I'm so grateful it happened ..my own fellowship, which i've been to for the past 5 years -as much as i love it- is made up of the extremes on the age scale.. people are either very old or waay young and hence sharing has its limits which suck . But now God has enabled a way for me to make the best of both worlds!~or should i say bridge the worlds together? either way it feels great:D
I've long wanted to meet with christians of a similar age. It was heartwarming to know that there weren't many limits on sharing.. in fact the more drastic the experiences the better!! I loved most aspects of the night (now if i were to have said "every" i wouldn't be a realist:).. the songs.. the food.. & in particular, the stories of people who've embraced God, each with a different (tho sometimes ordinary) yet never boring account of how he transformed their lives. I felt warm and elated. The fellowship went on for a while -got home @ 11- but it felt relatively short. Still that's not to say my comfort zone wasn't stretched. Indeed i had to step out of it to consider going in the first place. Throughout the night i was self-conscious about my slowness in grasping the content of stuff said. But i'm open to learning so hopefully as most of them are international students, i can help their english while they help my chinese and we can all help each other grow in fellowship!! So that's my happy little chirp for the evenin'.. night!
wonka fest
You guessed it --- i watched Willy Wonka today!! And it was definitely worth it for $7.50; especially with a great friend and lots of junk food thrown into the mix:D** the original version is better tho; the new just doesn't have the same original charm or flair or flavour. It's still a really sweet film, but am i the only one who think the oompa loompas were totally off-colour?? And Depp didn't play Wonka as well as i expected him to [he's much better as a pirate].. but Charlie and his family were beautiful and I adored the squirrels!! plus the take home message makes up for anything lacking... & now i can't wait til Narnia and HP4 are out! I'm such a movie maniac *tsk tsk*
Anyhoo i calculated today's budget and was pleasantly surprised. I used less money than i would've for phone credit, but blanched at the majority spent on food. I forked out for seven individual items ~ obviously convinced beforehand that I wouldn't succumb to any gastronomic sensations *grrr* So next time, I'm going to spend heaps on one fulfilling meal instead of spreading it over lots of tiny ones that fill you for about 20 minutes before the cravings hit again-_-" That's my well learnt lesson for the day.
And what a good ol' day it has been ~discounting the mind-wrenchingly boring chem prac right before Wonka *shudders* .. a good start (power walk) to a good close (pyrmont bridge walk+ chat). Ta waz' :D
~ A breath of fresh air ~
It feels brilliant to get things out of the way. Like the tax return i completed a week ago; and all the birthday wishes i remembered to send with hugs 'n' kisses. But it's becoming too methodical. Like that's what life is boiling down to. A sequence of events just waiting to be ticked off and enacted. I don't like that. So in a small act of counteraction, I went out of my way to buy a book. Called 'Human moments', and it's the best thing that's happened all month.
It talks about the importance of well, the title, and how intimate connections between people to anything outside themselves -other people, their pets, their hobbies, etc- are in the end, the only things that truly matter. The whole style of the book is part autobiographical laced with other true stories. It's certainly unique and makes for a comfortable read; certainly one to be referred to over and over and the best part is the author. He was once dyslexic
and had ADD. I have a soft spot for those people; at one stage i thought my couz had it, and embarked on a quasi-epic adventure to learn all about it. I'm still not sure, but i might've been over-imaginative. He's a gorgeous little guy but he's too young to be diagnosed properly. Ah well, long as he's happy..
Farewell last day of winter!! I've been waiting for ages to say that:D But counting my stay in summery china last month i only really experienced 2 and a bit months of winter. No cause for complaint at all. Indeed I'll probably be harking about the same thing in the opp. manner once summer has outstayed its welcome. Spring and autumn are arguably the best even though they fusing with their partners in the whole global warming furore. I can finally do away with the dark, layeric fussy mode of winter to the fresher, lighter, prettier dress of spring:D Ooh i can't wait~ well i only have about 6 hours.
September is going to be an awesome month. Mid semester break is coming up so i can catch up with civilization once more. I only have 2 assignments. May & co are going to China [disneyland] soon and i'll be awaiting their arrival like a homesick puppy. Plus my tax return should be returned within this time frame. It's also getting closer to christmas!! And hopefully, i'll get to see Paul soon. All wins. Thankyou God:D
